Motivation to Rape: Why the hell did HE do this to me?

My main source is from Wikipedia, which is not necessarily a reliable source. I am aware. Unfortunately, at this time, I do not have access to scholarly psychology and sociology journals at this time.

The resounding rhetoric behind rape motivation is that there is no single factor. Gee, I'm surprised... (please detect my sarcasm at the previous statement). Medusa says blaming the victim of any sexual assault or abuse is NEVER okay. No man, woman, or child asks to be violated. Yet, we are assaulted. I never consented to HIM. Why? Why did this happen to me? Why does this happen to others?

Thus far, researchers have tried to explain rape in terms of socioeconomics, anger, power, sadism, sexual power, psychopathy, ethical standards, attitudes toward women, and evolutionary pressures. Medusa has yet to understand how socioeconomics play into rape motivation theory. Medusa understands how social scientists try to explain rape motivation theory in the remaining factors. However, Medusa fails to understand how social scientists can use these theories to explain why one person violates another person in such a manner.

Researchers have identied two attitudes within the convicted rapist population: anger towards women and the need to control or dominate their victims. Research has identified factors that "increase men's 'risk' of committing rape" (RISK OF COMMITTING RAPE?):
*alcohol and drug consumption
*likeliness to cosider victims responsible for their rapes
*lack of knowledge about the repercussions of rape on their victims
*impulsivity and antisocial personality traits (note: antisocial does not mean socially avoidant)
*an exaggerated sense of masculinity
*poor opinion of women
*criminal gang membership (it is thought that criminal gang membership increases peer pressure to prove one's manhood/masculinity)
*having sexually aggressive friends
*history of abuse (unspecified if sexual, physical, emotional, etc.)
*having been raised in a strongly patriarchal family
Feminist theories of rape contend that rape is about exertion of power power. Susan Brownmiller stated: "Rape is nothing more or less than a conscious process of intimidation by which all men keep all women in a state of fear." At this point, Medusa would like to address this inflammatory statement. Not all men rape. Not all men condone rape. Not all acts of rape are perpetrated by men. Brownmiller's statement is inaccurate; however, Medusa does think sexual violence is a systemic problem within society. Feminst theory also addresses "rape culture", or acts of sexism frequently used to "validate and rationalize" misogynistic practices. These may include sexist jokes, victim blaming, the trivialization of prison rape, and sexual objectification. Feminist theory recognizes the sex industry as a major source of sexual objectification, noting that accepance of the sex industry increases sexual violence. One other argument
("Aggression and Coercive Actions: A Social-Inteactive Perspective", Felson & Tedeschi, 1994) is that "sexual fulfillment" is the motive for rape. Can't would-be rapists find a consenting partner? HE had recently started a new relationship when HE raped me.

Three types of rape are identified. There are some shared characteristics, but there are variations. Anger rape and sadistic rape share the characteristic of excessive force and violence; power rape is typified by the use of just enough force and/or violence to subdue the victim. The goal of anger rape is noted to be the humiliation, debasement, and pain of the victim. "Sex is a weapon" in anger rape, as characterized by phyical brutality. Sadistic rape consists of the eroticization of aggression (power and anger). These assaults are deliberate, premeditated attacks that frequently involve torture and restraint. Power rapists use sexuality as a means to compensate for feelings of inadequacy and stimulates their issues of mastery, control, authority, capability, and strength. Their intention is to assert competency and validate masculinity. The power rapist needs to believe the victim enjoyed "it", and their offenses may become compulsive and repetitive.

What does this mean? Medusa thinks, and this is merely my conjecture, social scientists do not yet have all the reasons as to WHY rape occurs. I identify HIM as more of the power rapist type; but this does not make my life easier. I still have to live with the trauma while maintaining and nurturing a slippery and cracked daily balance. How much of me is damaged victim, how much is outraged survivor Medusa fighting sexual violence, and how much is the original me? This is a daily balancing act for every survivor.

Herstory of Medusa and Mission

So, in my first blog, I confessed my secret of being a rape survivor. It feels good to open up and be frank about an awful situation that I've pretty much kept bottled up for 12 years. Sometimes I wish I'd pursued criminal charges. At the time, I was so confused and dissociated that I was not sure what happened. It took me a few years and another sexual assault (not me and another perpetrator) to comprehend the "R" word actually happened to me. It was at that time that I opened up to my then boyfriend/fiance (currently, my husband of nine years) and a couple other people. I still kept it secret and ashamed.

Over the years, I've had pretty much every symptom of post-rape trauma. Intrusive thoughts and memories, check! Nightmares, check! Random panic attacks from rather harmless situations, check! Once, I had a dream where I killed HIM, chopped HIS body to tiny bits, and then placed HIS body fragments in large garbage bags placed in those giant plastic storage bins. Then, I took those bins, buried them at the end of my grandmother's driveway on a rural oil top road. I placed an oriental rug over the oil top, and then sat on the rug. I literally buried this all away in my dream. It felt pretty damn good, I must confess.
(I am not recommending assaulting
anyone ever in any manner. I am just sharing my dream.)

Life happens, though, and everything came back. My most recent nightmare was just 2 or 3 weeks ago. I'm learning to, not accept because "accept" is inappropriate, live with it. More than anything, this is about living again, to regain everything HE took from me. Just opening up about my experience has been freeing for me.

So far, Medusa is gaining supporters on Facebook, and hopefully some momentum. If this Medusa initiative can help any single person, then I will consider this a successful endeavor. If I can change a single person's opinion about sex crimes (I'm referring to the enormous majority who believe the problem does not concern them because they have not experienced victimization), then Medusa is a success. Chances are, each individual knows a rape survivor, and possibly a rapist. I know many survivors, and I have known perpetrators, besides my own. Think about who you know. 1 in 6 women and 1 in 33 men in the USA are the victim of attempted or completed sexual assault. That's a lot of people. Medusa has her work cut out for her!