I had a recent conversation with an almost-adult girl. We were discussing the Golden Age of American Cinema, and I was listing off some of my favorite actresses: Katharine Hepburn, Audrey Hepburn, Marilyn, Deborah Kerr, Maureen O'Hara... I was trying to help her identify Katharine Hepburn, and I commented that she was gifted with talent and a feminist. The girl said, "Oh, I hate feminists." I told her she must hate me, too. "Oh, well, everyone should be equal. I just don't like the man-haters."
At first I was taken aback by seemingly blatant disrespect for all the female pioneers who have fought and struggled so hard, sacrificed so much, and given of themselves so much by this girl. Then I realized: Maybe she doesn't need to identify with feminism because she hasn't personally experienced sexism. Huh...
I see sexism everywhere. Is it a result of experiencing sexism from childhood? My mom, who never really allied with "feminism" properly, raised me to be independent, rely on myself, and not feel the need to be dependent on a man. She was trapped in a marriage to my father, so I clearly understand why she raised me like that. I had an informal feminist ethic from my mother. Then, around the 8th grade, when my breasts had grown and my hips began their spread, I experienced significant sexual harassment. A kid repeatedly made inappropriate comments, culminating in grab-ass, at which point I decided enough was enough. I reported it to the principal of my junior high. It was bad enough that the kid was harassing me, but I did not expect to be told that there was nothing that could be done but to change my locker (the location of the harassment) since it is a he said/she said situation. Funny, the principal, spineless pig he was, never even talked to the boy. With a new locker, I learned a valuable lesson about how to deal with misogyny and stand up for myself... Be mean as hell but silent because no one will listen!
So, I'm talking to this girl who says she "hates man-haters" and we should all be equal. Equality; the first sentence of our Declaration of Independence says "All men are created equal", but we know the founding-fathers, despite their individual views (and I am not getting into a political discussion about the founding of our nation), pragmatically meant that all middle- to upper-class, White, preferably European, males were given these unalienable rights. We had to fix some things, but we're doing better now. Doesn't she realize the massive inequality out there? The fraction a female worker earns in comparison to her male counterpart, the hatred of women, the sexual violence and objectification that permeates our world? No, she seems not to understand.
Is it good or bad? It bothers me in the thought that kids her age and younger will be continually apathetic towards women's rights and the achievements of the suffragists, the proponents of the ERA, the warriors against violence, etc. I have read a lot of feminist texts, which are in my personal library, ranging from Mary Wollstonecraft to Eve Ensler. I still listen to Riot Grrrl music. I have a blog dedicated to fighting sexual violence caused by sexism. I have created a persona to fight sexual assault! I cannot deny I am feminist; I have embraced feminism, identify with the need to be feminist and the security the label "feminism" provides. On the other hand, it gives me hope that this girl's flippant dismissal of feminism is a reflection that all the feminists who have fought and sacrificed, that their work is paying off, and I'm alive to witness that girls are not being objectified, treated poorly, or being exposed to the nastier side of misogyny.
Then I read the crime statistics in the paper; I see that rape is still prevalent. I see that men treat women like objects. I see people like Hugh Hefner (a dirty pornographer, in my opinion), Chris Brown (known for physically assaulting ex-girlfriend Rihanna), and Kobe Bryant (do I need to explain?) are celebrated in the media. I see the problems in TV and movies, on the radio, online, on billboards, in magazines, and even in person on occasion.
"Feminism is the radical notion that women are people too" (a statement I think was made by Judy Tenutta, although I read it so long ago that I am probably wrong). I'm not a crazy, man-hating, leftist feminist stereotype. I'm a survivor of rape and other sexual assault (and a stalking and more sexual harassment than any individual should ever endure), married to a man, a daughter, sister, granddaughter, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, cousin, niece, and aunt to males who are good people and I care deeply for, with political beliefs that less government is better, who just happens to think that women still have a long way to go before we can declare true equality. I agree with her in that we should all be equal. My hope is that feminism is not dying. I hope we can achieve equality, including and especially gender equality, as feminism and gender studies are not strictly female issues. Who will assert her or himself to achieve that goal?
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