The Ultimate Survivor

This blog is not going to be Medusa's normal rants or soul sharing. Instead, I'd like to share someone else's story. She deserves for people to know what kind of woman she is, the struggles she has faced, & the true survivor this woman is. For the sake of telling her story, I will refer to her as JM. She is a woman I have known my whole life, who I love dearly, & for whom I have complete admiration.

JM was born the oldest child of a poor rural family. I really do not know much about her childhood, other than she had a total of seven siblings, four sisters and three brothers. One brother died in infancy or early childhood. Her mother died young due to tuberculosis. Her father relied on JM to help raise her siblings but eventually remarried to a sweet woman who mothered his children. JM's father, from what I know, could be a stubborn and hateful man at times.

At age 16, JM married a man twice her age, 32. I do not know about their courtship, but I do
know that he was physically, emotionally, & sexually violent to JM. I was told a story about how JM would run away from her husband's sexual advances, although he would overpower her & caused significant damage to her genitalia & bladder. JM birthed three children, two boys and one girl. The oldest boy was a welcome addition, although I believe she was around 19 or 20 when she had him.

She worked as a seamstress for a local dressmaking manufacturer, gardened for food, raised chickens for food, & made many of their own clothes. Besides working some cattle, her alcoholic husband did not really work. The conditions were so bad or JM that when she became pregnant with their second child, their only daughter, JM took quinine pills in attempt to abort the fetus. It was unsuccessful. When she became pregnant the third time, she again attempted to abort by taking quinine pills. Her actions were out of desperation. Her husband made it clear to the younger
two children that JM had attempted to abort them, even though she truly loves all three of her children. Her children continued the cycle of emotional abuse by taunting JM about the attempted abortions.

JM's husband's abuse was not contained to his wife alone. He regularly emotionally & physically abused their children. At one point, he was beating the younger son so severely that JM pulled out her single shot rifle, pointed it at her husband and was ready to shoot & kill him if he hit his son one more time.

All through this time, JM continued to work. She had to wear dress shoes to work. The shoes did not always fit well so her toes became misshapen due to poorly fit dress shoes. She would prepare every meal. In the mornings, she would ring the neck of one of the chickens, pluck it, clean it, cut it, & fry the chicken for breakfast along with homemade biscuits & whatever else they could afford to eat. The leftovers would often be lunch, and then JM
would return home from a hard day at work & prepare a full supper from scratch. She did this daily for the majority of her adult life.

Eventually, the kids grew up & moved on, got married, & began having their own families. JM's husband began to have failing health due to years of fatty diet, alcoholism, & smoking. He had multiple strokes, & eventually died when JM was around 60 to 62 years old. She never remarried or dated. She was able to become active in her chuch again, something he denied her. She began selling a popular make-up brand & was quite successful. She has a china cabinet full of awards from the make-up company. She doted on her grandchildren, a total of five. Then she got two great-grandchildren & doted on them as well. She would offer up huge meals & family gatherings for holidays, especially Easter.

During this time, she had an accident that permanently & irrevocably injured her back. Arthritis ate away at her knees & hands. JM has had a total of three total knee replacements. Multiple doctors have been shocked at the severity of her back impairment & JM's level of pain tolerance. JM sold the make-up line as long as possible, & even had to cut back her business due to her back pain before she had to finally give up her career. She has survived her husband, almost all of her brothers- & sisters-in-law, two brother, a sister, her youngest son, & many friends & other relatives. After the loss of her son, JM had a bout of blues where it seemed as though she had given up on life. She was diagnosed with lymphoma, and is in remission. She beat cancer in her late 80s! Now, she is battling pulmonary fibrosis, which has a grim mortality rate.

JM continues to be loving to her children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, & even a single great-great-grandchild. All who have had the pleasure of knowing JM have felt the warmth of love she radiates. She has an army of neices & nephews
who adore her. Despite all the hardships faced during her 92 years, JM has been the epitome of survivor. She never talks about her hardships, & if one looks closely into her eyes, one is able to see the years of hard work, personal hardships, loss, & worry in the depths of her eyes, yet they also show a kind of love and care that is rare.

Who i JM? She is my grandmother, her youngest child my father. She spoiled me, indulged my childhood make-up wishes, & always given me the kind of love only a grandmother can give. She is the epitome of survivor, even as she lies in a hospital bed on oxygen fighting for breath & life. I hope I can be more like her, in her strength, courage, & unconditional love. I love her. JM is survivor #1!